If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”
Apparently my little brother was watching porn on my older brother’s Netflix account so he wouldn’t get caught but plot twist my older brother was doing the same thing with my younger brother’s account and now they’re both grounded and I’m the only one allowed on Netflix
I WAS JUST AT WAL-MART AND THEN
- Little boy: Mommy, why is Wonder Woman not wearing any pants?
- The Mom: Because Wonder Woman has amazing thighs and she could crush men with them if they insult her.
- Little Boy: I wanna be Wonder Woman.
- The Mom: Don't we all.